Holy Hell: A Memoir of Faith, Devotion, and Pure Madness Author: Gail Tredwell | Language: English | ISBN:
B00GB83S3G | Format: EPUB
Holy Hell: A Memoir of Faith, Devotion, and Pure Madness Description
Amma, universally known as "The Hugging Saint," went through a two-decade transformation from a simple fisherman's daughter to an international wonder worshiped by millions. Gail "Gayatri" Tredwell was there every step of the way—from early devotee to head female disciple, ever-present personal attendant, handmaiden, whipping post, and unwilling keeper of some devastating secrets. At age nineteen, when she was a happy-go-lucky, adventurous lass from Australia, Tredwell never imagined that she would soon be trading her free spirit and skimpy clothing for a life of submission in an ankle-length sari. Her eager decision to serve the young "saint" began with innocence and a pure desire to please her new guru. In time, the relationship transformed into virtual enslavement in which Tredwell was on call 24/7 and worked herself nearly to death in the hope of finding God. Because she became fluent in the Malayalam language and had continual intimate proximity to Amma for twenty years, Tredwell is uniquely capable of portraying this famous woman. She tells her tale with straightforward honesty, fairness, and a dash of Aussie snap and wit. Although the guru’s flaws are a necessary part of her story and awakening, she strives to be factual throughout, digging deep to eschew victim frameworks and take responsibility for her own role in accepting the abuse and perpetuating the lies. The book evokes the joys of early devotional life and vibrant images of rural India. Through Tredwell's eyes, we watch a modest and traditional ashram metastasize into a business-oriented, bustling, mega-international organization. We also see how such a dizzying rise created vast opportunity for abuse, deceit, and hypocrisy. Tredwell takes us vividly through her varying stages, starting with naïveté and innocent devotion, then on to dawning awareness and confusion, finally to emotional breakdown and her shocking "enlightenment"—her realization that the liberation she urgently required was is in fact liberation from her own guru. In a gradual yet determined struggle, she managed to untangle herself from the web of myth and indoctrination. Only then was she able to muster her battered but not quite broken spirit and plot her escape. Gail's flight to freedom—her victorious recovery from a life of abuse and disillusionment—displays extraordinary strength and inspiring courage.
- File Size: 1658 KB
- Print Length: 338 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0989679403
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00GB83S3G
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,393 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I was impressed by Gail Tredwell's writing, especially for a first book. Definitely better than expected based on some of the reviews I had read. It was quite descriptive and kept me engaged--I read it in a matter of hours.
But more importantly, it seemed like a genuine effort towards finding and communicating the truth. I like truth. I don't know what really went on at the M.A. Math although I was involved in a low key way for about 10 years at a U.S. M.A Center quite awhile back. I just knew to not get too involved, I could see there were things going on that I would not want to be involved with. I saw a lot of ego manifesting in many ways. I could see that despite Ammachi's powerful spiritual aura, there was a mythology being created around and about her. I did profoundly enjoy the music and the beautiful Indian ritual involving flower petals, oil lamps and camphor and most of all the love that seemed to radiate from Ammachi and the love and fellowship of the people who came to the events.
However, I had some experiences that eventually made me realize being involved with the M.A. Center was really not for me. A few of them vaguely echoed some of the experiences mentioned in Holy Hell, but for the most part I was not privy to the kinds of information and experience Gail was.
I heard from people who had gone to India years ago that some of Ammachi's relatives were building big palatial houses on the other side of the river and did not believe that her family's fishing business could have taken off to that extent. I would go into the question line and find that Ammachi did not know what was on my mind as we were told she did and would not understand the background information relating to my question, so would not answer it in a meaningful way.
Any time a book's reviews are largely 5-star or 1-star and not many in between, you know something is going on that's bigger than the book. In this case, Gail Tredwell's expose of her former guru has vindicated some and enraged others. In the book, Gail details her 20+ years of servitude to “Amma”, from her humble beginnings to the global multi-million dollar enterprise she now heads.
For those with a vested interest in the Amma organization, or those interested in guru-disciple relationships, this book will no doubt be very interesting (and salacious at times). I’m not sure the book would be of interest to the casual reader with no connection to the subject matter. My interest in the book comes from having a family member in the Amma organization. I was always slightly uneasy with the worship of one person as “God”. To please my family member, I have attended darshan on the tour several times, and have been discomfited by the dreamy devotees all in white, and the blatant money-making aspect of the tour. The book details what I know all too well, how Amma never gives straight answers to even simple questions, leaving the devotees to try to guess what a look or single word meant. The book does not mention that one of the popular items for sale on the tour is handmade Amma dolls, which devotees are encouraged to buy, sleep with, and talk to as if they are Amma herself. When you see a grown, professional, educated adult who you respect and admire cuddling and talking to a doll, you know something is going on that is not healthy.
The book details Amma’s physical and verbal abuse of Ms. Tredwell and other devotees, always behind closed doors, to preserve the loving image of Amma, The Holy Mother. Ms.
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