How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage Author: Milan Yerkovich | Language: English | ISBN:
B0067O7HXQ | Format: PDF
How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage Description
Are you tired of arguing with your spouse over the same old issues? Do you dream of a marriage with less conflict and more intimacy? Are you struggling under a load of resentment?
The key to creating a deeper bond in your marriage
may lie buried in your childhood.
Your early life experiences create an “intimacy imprint”–an underlying blueprint that shapes your behavior, beliefs, and expectations of all future relationships, especially your marriage. In
How We Love, relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you pinpoint the reason your marriage is struggling–and they reveal exactly what you can do about it.
Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, the Yerkoviches identify four types of injured imprints that combine in marriage to trap couples in a repetitive dance of pain. As you discover how your relationship has been guided by these imprints, you’ll gain the insights you need to stop stepping on each other’s toes and instead allow yourselves to be swept along by the music of a richer, deeper relationship.
From the Hardcover edition.- File Size: 2184 KB
- Print Length: 322 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1400072980
- Publisher: WaterBrook Press (January 20, 2009)
- Sold by: Random House LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B0067O7HXQ
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #17,505 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #13
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > Relationships - #28
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Marriage - #72
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Love & Romance
- #13
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > Relationships - #28
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Marriage - #72
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Love & Romance
"Can you recall a time as a child when you were upset and someone comforted you?"
Milan and Kay believe that the answer to that simple question is the secret force that shapes the way we relate to others for the rest of our lives. It's a powerful, controversial question, but the answer is even more remarkable. Did your response to comfort (or a lack of it) create a pattern to play out in relationships?
In this book, the Yerkoviches have distilled all the marriage problems they encounter in their practice into this one root problem--a lack of comfort--and then shown how to solve them all with a simple, practical solution. Virtually any challenge you're facing--lack of communication, resentment, old arguments, in-laws, blaming, anger, emotional pain, expectations--can be overcome through this systematic reframing of the reason for decreased intimacy. If it sounds too good to be true, you need to get the book and prove yourself wrong.
In a world where bold claims by personalities and watered-down pablum steals the limelight, Milan and Kay have made a true contribution with this book. We may talk about rising divorce rates, scandalous affairs, and the irreconcilable division between male and female in every culture, but How We Love presents a true, undeniable solution. You may not agree that the comfort question is vital to your present relationships, but you will be challenged to improve your responses to those you love by the sincere and thorough work Milan and Kay have put into this book. The personal experiences, extensive testing, and years of study and research make this book one of the rare few that actually delivers what so many relationsip books claim to do. Among these, How We Love belongs in the class with Gottman, Chapman, Dr. Phil, & Dr.
Husband and wife Milan and Kay Yerkovich have compiled an intriguing body of counseling scenarios detailing their imprinted love styles. Thoughtfully presented, the text breeds understanding and compassion between spouses who are struggling to make their marriage work. The authors base much of their material on the premise that adults continue to live out in patterns of communication and intimacy largely based upon what they learned and experienced in their childhood home. Thus stated, the Yerkovichs offer lengthy case studies and examples of what each "love style" looks like and how it conflicts with others.
Between the two of them, this professional couple has over 25 years of pastoral counseling experience (Milan's) added to 13 years of marriage and family counseling (Kay's) --- not to mention the fact that they've learned a lot firsthand through the ups and downs of their own 33-year marriage. For openers, the Yerkovichs offer a single question upon which the foundational principle of the book is based: "Can you recall being comforted as a child after a time of emotional distress?" During the first 18 years of life, every person needs deep emotional comfort extended through meaningful touch, empathetic listening that validates feelings and some sort of soothing relief. If any of these elements are missing, then real comfort is lacking.
The authors write that roughly 75 percent of adults they surveyed did not have a single memory of receiving comfort from a primary caregiver as children. Thus, the answer to this key question will determine in large part how one responds in marriage when life gets tough. If a person was comforted early on, then they seek relationships as safe havens during times of trial.
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