Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy Author: Gary L. Thomas | Language: English | ISBN:
0310242827 | Format: EPUB
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy Description
From Publishers Weekly
This is no ordinary self-help book on the Christian family; it focuses far less on how to improve one's marriage than how one's marriage can improve one's Christian faith. Author Thomas even goes so far as to suggest that "God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy," an idea that may shock romantically inclined Americans. Marriage, writes Thomas, is a spiritual discipline because it forces us to confront our own selfishness and sinfulness. Daily sacrifices can teach service, while a demanding, lifelong commitment teaches perseverance. Problems arise when couples expect each other to fill roles (such as unconditional lover) that only God can play in their lives. The book is a refreshing addition to the evangelical canon; it draws not only on the extensive marital analogies found in Scripture but also on Church history and tradition. This makes for a thoughtful and challenging message that is not susceptible to the evangelical mode du jour. Thomas is honest about his own marital ups and downs. Although the book is sometimes hampered by its overwhelmingly male perspective (most of Thomas's examples are taken from men's stories), the various personal anecdotes crystallize the idea of marriage as a context for spiritual growth. (Feb.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From the Publisher
There is a pathway to richness in marriage outside the traditional marriage enrichment approach. Many excellent books have been written that tell how to build a better marriage; Sacred Marriage, on the other hand, shows how marriage can contribute to a better spiritual life. Blending quotes from Christian classics and true-life anecdotes from his seminars, author and speaker Gary Thomas helps readers reframe their concept of marriage. While marriage may not be the only tool that can help people draw closer to God, it is a powerful one. It reveals our character--who we really are--and trains us to become who we want to be. The marital relationship offers a context for lasting and significant spiritual growth; it provides fertile ground for cultivating humility, perseverance, charity, forgiveness, confession, prayer, non-judgmentalism, and more. Sacred Marriage is not about marriage-transformation, or spouse-transformation, but about self-transformation. It is not about loving one's mate better, although that will be an inevitable outcome. Rather, this book is written to help the reader love God more and reflect the character of his Son at an ever-deepening level--not because any marriage is ever perfect, but because it helps husbands and wives discover and revel in their relationship with God.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
See all Editorial Reviews
- Paperback: 304 pages
- Publisher: Zondervan; Reprint edition (February 4, 2002)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0310242827
- ISBN-13: 978-0310242826
- Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Admittedly, I haven't read every marriage book ever written, so the title of this review is probably overstating the case. However, I have read a number of marriage books (including some more popular ones like "The Five Love Languages" and "Fit To Be Tied," which are also solid and worth reading), and this is the cream of the crop.
The overarching theme of the book is explicated clearly in its subtitle, that marriage is primarily a means of God drawing us to holiness rather than an instrument used to bring about our own happiness. This concept seems to cast a somewhat melancholy vision for marriage as a medium for unhappy relationships, and many of the other folks with whom we read the book were initially disheartened by that premise. However, after giving Thomas some time to flesh out this idea, they came around to appreciate the heart of his message.
What I love most about "Sacred Marriage" is the concept of marriage as a spiritual discipline. Just like Richard Foster in "Celebration of Discipline" is able to turn the most traditional spiritual disciplines like fasting and study into something desirable and appealing, Thomas casts a vision of marriage that just draws me to an almost feverish pitch of anticipation. From Thomas' perspective, God can and will (if I am open to His work) use my marriage as one of the primary means of drawing me to Himself. And that has nothing to do with the circumstances of my marriage at any given time or the particular ways that my wife treats me. When we open ourselves to this new perspective, our marriages have the opportunity to be totally transformational. What an exciting prospect!!!
I cannot begin to praise this book by Gary Thomas enough. As a minister, I officiate a lot of weddings and I can say without hesitation that I will strongly recommend this book to every couple I have contact with. SACRED MARRIEGE poses the question, "What if God designed marriage to make us Holy more than to make us happy?" Thomas then goes on to deftly and succinctly illustrate how marriage is intended to take us to levels of spirituality most people will never conceive of.
Thomas breaks down many of the societal enigmas placed upon marriage. For example, throughout history, various religious doctrines have driven a massive and impenetrable wedge between spirituality and sexuality. Abstinence is believed by many, still today, to be the only true way to achieve maximum spirituality with God. Thomas accurately and completely destroys such apostasy by illustrating how marital sexuality can and should in fact, draw both partners deeper into their relationship with God.
This book is also laden with practical examples that will make all husbands and wives ask simple questions that will immediately influence how they treat or react to their spouses. For example, in a section on cultivating gratitude, Thomas states, "I never eat at somebody's house without thanking them for providing a meal; why should I not give my wife the same thanks I'd give someone else?" A simple question which should provide a profound and immediate self-examination.
There is also an adequate Notes section and also a very interesting section of questions for discussion and reflection. I believe this section, in and of itself, would make this a fantastic guide for young couples to help set the direction of their marriage and help initiate a habitual and constant inclusion of God in the marriage.
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